This morning I struggled to meditate. I realized that I have trouble staying in the now. Even when I want to do something as simple as meditate, I’m looking 15 minutes in the future. Why? This is probably a contributing factor to my anxiety. There’s always something to do in the future. Yet, I don’t need to think about it right now.

I’m writing and as soon as something from my To-Do list pops in my brain, I will want to accomplish that. It’s hard for me to focus, because I always want to multi-task. When I make art I’m not this way. When I make music I’m not this way. Perhaps this is tied to my level of interest?

What I do know is that I need to make some adjustments to this behavior. It’ll help me not worry about things that aren’t happening right now.